Im going home soon. Like REALLY soon. 2 days! It's bizarre. I guess all along I never thought this time would come or that when it did it would feel like a long time has passed, but now being at the end it seemed to have been so short, and fast. I guess that is how it always is. I have been thinking a lot, that reflection that only happens at the end of something. I can't ignore the overwhelming sense of how f#%$ing lucky I am. I have so much to be grateful for, and a lot of people to be grateful to. People back home, and people I have met along the way, who without thinking would offer their homes, time, food, and friends.
What is next? well I have spent 8 months trying to figure that out, and right now I guess I don't exactly know. Most of the time I feel okay with that and even excited by it. I know things I want to do, books I want to read, meals I want to cook, clothes I want to wear, but I dont know "what I want to be" but somehow that seems kind of beside the point. Hopefully that will take care of itself if I focus on being the kind of person I want to be. For a while I thought I had to have some goal or job to define me but now it seems okay to define myself and work hard doing what I want to do and let the rest just happen.
I can't wait to see everyone and eat and talk and laugh with you. Thank you for reading this. I have been suprised and a bit embarrased by your responses. You all mean a lot to me and I hope that someday I can make you see how grafteful I am to have such amazing family and friends.
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ok - so i miss your blog. can you believe all that has happened since you have been home? lu
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